2/ Hi Garlic Bad boy here I am ok with things going on blog but please try to keep my identity hidden.
I am concerned that you have not quite grasped the position I now find myself in. By declaring my support for you and Ginger (this is a new code name that will be used from now on when referring to our Irish friend).
The outsiders have taken further steps in their efforts to have your exclusion confirmed and furthermore are enlisting the services of some surprising agencies to that end.
By hacking into the church computer I have obtained evidence of dialogue between them and N.A.V.A.B which I have identified as the national association of verruca and blisters, and also a little known organization called the footrot eradication league which are an extremist group responsible for spreading much of the rumour and misinformation that has resulted in sufferers of this unfortunate affliction having to go into hiding and in certain instances change identity. So as you can see things are moving at pace.
I felt that my best strategy was to enlist the support of some of you friends but was shocked by the response received Roger who? Was fairly typical Gary what never heard of him, so suspecting that they had been fingered by the outsiders I have decided that if anything has to be done I must go it alone?
My suspicions that they are on to me were today finally confirmed when I located a bugging device hidden in the church flowers that Rena had brought home to deliver over the next few days. And as I had already indicated some movement was already detected in the graveyard last night and I feel it is likely that I can now less than 24 hour surveillance.
At this very moment I am compiling this update from the shed at the bottom of the garden where I have set up my forward operations unit. And I feel that I must keep this communication brief if I am to evade detection.
Bad news about the toenail but perhaps you could reaffix it with some superglue. It will not help our cause if Ginger returns nailless. Stand by for further updates.
PS I have given this operation the code name “ Carbolic “ as that seemed particularly appropriate all communications from now on must contain this word in order to be considered genuine.
Must go now BBB.
3/ Hi Garlic Bad boy here
I have reconsidered my position with regard to a static forward operations unit and have instead decided to be more mobile in my efforts to evade detection; this transmission is in fact taking place from within the steeple of the church which also doubles as a good vantage point.
What I have witnessed from here has confirmed without doubt that a concerted search is ongoing in an effort to find and silence me.
Only this morning I saw several groups of outsider supporters circuiting the village disguised as joggers, It was the false beards that the women were wearing that first aroused my suspisicions .I could only think of three or four women in the congregation who have beards of a similar colour none of whom were of an age to be seen running around in lycra and hi vis jackets.
Later on today when things had quietened down a bit I decided to embark on a scouting mission of my own to see if I could pick up any intelligence on what might be happening within the outsiders camp.
I was soon disappointed that I could not find anyone with any intelligence within the village precincts and was shocked also to find that a wall of silence confronted me everywhere I went.
My suspicion immediately was that David Allen was responsible for this but without concrete evidence this is only a theory at this point.
Knowing that everyone in the congregation has their price I was able however to trade four bars of June’s tablet for the following snippet of information.
It transpires that there is now a power struggle developing between the outsiders and a new hastily formed group called funnily enough the insiders over who will make the final decision on your fate.
I understand that tensions were running high at the recent coffee morning and my source who wishes to remain anonymous has indicated that many smouldering looks were exchanged before breaking up without incident.
Again I must keep my transmissions short if I am to be successful in evading detection. I am also becoming increasingly suspicious of a large grey feral pigeon which has been inclining it’s head in my direction several times over the last few hours I wonder if it is perhaps working for you know who and at any time will give away my position.
Will keep in touch BBB.
